


For Eternity

by Mufffy



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: "Platonic" hoodie sharing, ADHD John Laurens, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, Gay, Gay John Laurens, Gay Panic, Hoodies, Immortality, John is a sleepy boy, Libraries, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Platonic Hand Holding, Stoner John Laurens, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-09
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-01-31 06:57:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12676725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mufffy/pseuds/Mufffy
Summary: Alex. An immortal. Falling in love again with a human? More likely than you'd think.





	1. Nervous Not-Meet

John looked around the campus. It was spring, which meant it was getting close to summer, lucky for him he took the summer break and one month off in winter. John liked the snow, but right now, he was enjoying the flowers growing along the sidewalk in the campus park, and the trees that were finally blooming with flowers. He’d yet to find out what tree it was, but it was his favorite for the specific reason to climb it, and sit under.

But for now, he couldn’t sit in the park, He was going to the summer speech. It was a big speech about how you should be careful of what you do and who you meet and all the safety precautions. John would admit, he liked the speech. It always reviewed how there’s no smoking or drinking on school grounds unless it’s in your dorm, but you could never leave your room. Now John would admit he did smoke, not cigarettes, he was a stoner. He had been since sixteen but only a few people know, Like his roommate Lafayette and his other friend Aaron. He wasn’t much of a friend, just head of council on campus but they talked a bit. He was still a student after all.

But times change, and he’d nineteen now, almost done with the first year of college going into the summer break finally. He smiled to himself knowing his grades were as high as ever, He didn’t have a lot of friends but he was happy. Had Lafayette, got in contact with mom some nights, got in contact with his dad more often but he was okay with that. He wasn’t the best with his family, but he was okay with it. He wasn’t really one to look at the bad side, he was an optimist. Out-going, still shy though, Not shy actually, Really anxious. Horrible anxiety and a touch of ADHD.

He blinked out of his thoughts to open the door to the cinema on campus. It was like a theatre for the students who chose acting scholarships or come to watch. Big stage, seats unfolded for everyone. John looked around at everyone, he didn’t know barely any of them. Maybe ten or twenty, but the campus was big enough for more than two thousand and John was not ready to remember even a hundred names.

He looked around a little more to see his friends. He smiled. Feeling a wave of relaxation wash over him as he walked up the ramps until he sat next to them. Lafayette and Aaron sitting near the end of the row, close to the front. He nudged Lafayette to get his attention, smiling at his small jump and whip of the head, hitting Aaron in the face with his pony tail.

“Oh- John, Merde! You scared me!” He laughed, swearing under his breathe before smiling “Glad you could make it”

“It’s a speech about summer safety!”

“Yeah but you like these things”

John smiled a little at his friend remembering things. His own mom probably wouldn’t even know that about it, let alone remember the college he went to “That’s true!” He laughed “I’m more excited once it ends”

“Excited for summer?” Aaron leaned in his chair, becoming part of the conversation. Lafayette leaned back so they could all see each other.

“You bet!” John smiled “I don’t even know what I’m going to do, but I know I’m going to enjoy not having countless assignments shoved down my throat” He sighed, leaning on the arm rest over Lafayette’s lap a bit.

“Are you kidding me? You might be the valedictorian on campus! And that’s a lot for over two thousand people” Aaron protested. 

“You probably are John!”

John flinched at that, thinking about it. He’d have to stand in front of over two thousand people or even worse, give a speech to two thousand people. He’d have to talk?? And he’d fumble over his words, stutter, he’d slouch and stop talking for seconds or what if he has a panic attack on stage. He could fall off the stage, or pass out, or hit his head while falling and get knocked out.

Lafayette’s shaking brought him back to reality a little, frantically looking at his face. “Hey. It’s okay, Just relax. Deep breathes Jackie”

He smiled, taking his deep breathes, counting the seconds he took In. Held. Out. He took a small breathe to hold and looked around. He looked at the people’s heads. It distracted him, but not quite enough. He took another breathe, seeing everyone in front of him, and he wouldn’t dare to look behind him at the other maybe three fourth of the two thousand. So he looked at Lafayette, his shaky hand tugging on his shoulder until Lafayette gave him his hand to hold. John liked holding hands, it calmed him and he didn’t know why, but it felt nice to run his fingers across people’s hands. He’d grown used to Lafayette’s now, just because how big they are.

Now that he was more calm he could look around some. Being careful not to make eye contact with most people, mostly looking at people’s hair. He saw a black haired woman in a blue sweat shirt a few rows in front of him and another woman wearing a pink shirt, but with black curly hair in a ponytail. It looked cute, but John wasn’t gay. He liked to look at women but he’d never date one again. He looked up to see a another girl, much shorter maybe with a long sleeve yellow shirt on. Her hair was brown with a little black bow in it and it kind of reminded him of himself.

“Checking out Peggy are you?” Lafayette whispered, making John jump a little

“What? Uh, No. Just looking at them is all” He mumbled “You said her name was Peggy?”

“Just looking huh?” Lafayette laughed a little “Yeah. Peggy Schuyler, Those are her sisters. Eliza and Angelica, You know them?”

John thought about it. He’s heard the name before, Eliza maybe “I think Eliza” he mumbled, thinking where he heard it from. “Maybe in class or someone calling her in the hall?” John kept fidgeting with Lafayette’s hand until Peggy took a seat. He kept a hold of his hand, running his finger over his friend’s knuckles with a deep exhale. He was glad that Lafayette was his friend, to be there and comfort him. It made him feel better that he’d never pull away or judge him for being weird. Best Friend Goals

He smiled and waited until everyone went quiet, the English teacher John had got the students attention. He smiled at that, his English teacher was his favorite. Well, the art teacher was, but the English teacher helped him with anxiety and trying to focus on his ADHD more. He was bad about spacing out, and staring, and looking away, avoiding eye contact, Shuffling his feet and slouching in the halls.

“Hey, You paying attention?” Lafayette waved a hand in front of his face, smiling “Did you take your medicine?” He frowned for a second, still whispering

John slouched in his chair. He couldn’t lie but he also didn’t want Lafayette to be disappointed that he forgot again. It was sometimes embarrassing to admit he forgot because he got distracted. He honestly hated it that way. Always having to be reminded of something so simple, to be reminded that he can’t think straight without nearly having a panic attack while focusing. But it’s scary, because what if he’s in class, and he thinks he has the right answer, in fact he knows but what if it’s still wrong? What if he knows two plus two is four but is scared to get it wrong because he doesn’t want to get made fun of for being wrong. He doesn’t want to be judged, laughed at or even talked about.

“..I’ll take that as a no” Lafayette frowned this time before smiling widely. It confused John at first before he smiled back “It’s okay” he whispered, messing up the top of John’s head

John smiled and let go of Lafayette’s hand. It was warm, and now his hand was cold. He rolled his eyes and took his hair tie out, his hair falling everywhere on his shoulders as he pulled it out. He looked at Lafayette and put a finger to his mouth while he put his hair back up. He hoped putting his hair up didn’t bother anyone behind him, hoping they weren’t thinking mean about him. He swallowed the thought and slouched down a little until the speech was over. And he smiled the whole way through.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lafayette stayed seated with John until everyone had left. He ignored the people staring him and tried not to make any eye contact. Ignored the few times someone would bump him, trying to forget about how one of them apologized before walking away. He waited until there were less than half of the students. Lafayette waited with him, letting John take his hand for a brief second. Honestly they looked like a gay couple but Lafayette had an online boyfriend he’d met almost a year ago, they’d met a few times in real life and meeting him nearly gave John multiple panic attacks in one day. Hercules Mulligan was his name? Something like that.

“Hey Laffy Taffy,” John mumbled, pulling on his shoulder to get his attention, Lafayette turning his head “What’s your boyfriend’s name?” He stared at Lafayette and waited for an answer. Lafayette staring back in confusion for a second.

“Hercules Mulligan… But why?”

“Just wondering” John smiled and looked back in front of him to see the Schuyler sisters. Peggy was standing and dancing with the one he thought was Eliza while Angelica laughed. He could faintly hear her laugh from the few rows behind them. It made him happy, to hear that someone he kind of sort of maybe knew as an acquaintance? Was happy. He was always happy for people, never yelling at anyone unless it’s Lafayette and he got excited. He never said hateful things unless he was honestly getting angry or annoyed and that’s only if he doesn’t sleep or he’s having a bad day. Other than that he’s usually happy.

“Mon Amie, Can I have my hand back? And go back to the dorm to plan for summer?” Lafayette interrupted his thoughts

John blinked and looked at him before looking around and down at theirs hands “Yeah, Sorry” He quickly let go of his hand and stood up, holding the string to his hoodie. He looked around more, finally enough courage to look back at a few people. Someone with big curly hair, it reminded him of Lafayette’s hair in a way. Just bigger. He saw another guy, with his hair in a smallish ponytail? John couldn’t see from the back of his head but he could tell they were arguing over something. He tilted his head a little to stare at them curiously, picking up only a little of their conversation.

Words like “Stupid” and “Shut up” and then “Eliza”. That rung a bell, the Schuyler sister, but he didn’t want to bother her. She’d probably blow him off and say it’s pointless to tell her something so stupid. He pressed his lips together before making a small pout. He stared up at them still catching a few more words but once he heard a swear word, he turned his head to look back at Lafayette

“So you were listening!” He smiled

“Huh? Oh no, I was zoning out” John smiled

Lafayette sighed and shook his head “I asked you if you knew those two. The guys you were staring at” He nodded his head that way toward the two who were still arguing. Now it looked like the one with a pony tail was about to hit the other. John winced at the thought “That a yes?”

“Huh? Oh no uh, No, I don’t know them” John shrugged, glancing back at them “I just noticed they were arguing and the shorter one looks like he’s about to hit the other” John mumbled, quickly looking away as Lafayette looked up at them

“Oh damn I think they’re about to fight” he whispered before taking a step away from John before John quickly grabbed his arm, Lafayette looking back at him

“What are you doing?!” He whispered, his face turning a small shade of red

“Stopping a possible fight, what if someone gets seriously hurt?” He stared at John in the eyes before making eye contact with the smaller guy. They stared. His eyes widened as his face grew darker and he stopped breathing. He held his breathe with his mouth open a little. Frozen in fear until the Lafayette looked at John, then at the shorter man. He stared at him, and the man exchanged glances with Lafayette before going back to John. Then the taller man stopped talking and stared in confusion at the smaller man before looking at John and Lafayette, and that’s when John let go of Lafayette and ran down the stairs of the theatre, breathing heavily once he got outside. He took a deep breathe before hearing a quick shout of his name and what sounded like Lafayette telling him to wait until he started running down the sidewalks in the park to his dorm.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

“John- You..” Lafayette sighed and looked back up at the men. They weren’t fighting, in fact the shorter one was walking away as the taller walked in the opposite way. Lafayette smiled and waved to the shorter man and he waved back “I apologize about that, We didn’t mean to watch or make a scene” Lafayette stated

“No, It’s alright” The man smiled “I’m Alexander, by the way” Alex stuck out his hand

“Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette” He smirked, taking his hand “Lafayette is fine” he laughed

“Oh thank god, I thought I was gonna have to remember that” he smiled, letting go of his hand “So uh.. What did you and your friend hear?”

“Oh, I didn’t hear anything. Promise, but I’m not sure how much Jackie heard. I just could tell they weren't paying attention to me and noticed he was staring at you. Then I asked if he knew you, which he didn’t, do you know him?”

Alex shook his head “I don’t. Jackie doesn’t sound familiar at all”

“My bad, his full- ..” He paused for a second before looking at Alex “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t give out his name without his consent. He gets anxious about that, and strangers knowing him when he doesn’t know them, or strangers trying to talk to him. My point is, I don’t think he’d want me to give his name out” Lafayette stated. Which was true, he knew John didn’t like strangers, Especially strangers who knew him and made awkward eye contact, along with nearly giving him a panic attack.

“Ah..” Alex nodded, thinking about it. “Shy and gentle kid? He sounds.. scared in a way, but at least I know he’s a boy now”

“Anxious more, but- ..You thought he was a girl?”

“Well, He looks feminine so I didn’t want to make that mistake, I mean I know long hair means nothing to me, but I didn’t want to make a mistake” Alex smiled

Lafayette nodded “Considerate..? How are you with handling anxiety?” Lafayette smiled

“Are you to say our dearest Jackie has anxiety?”

“Maybe. Depends”

“Used to have a lot of friends with anxiety. Pretty used to it”

“Used?”

“Long story” Alex frowned for a second

“Well how’d you like to make a new friend?”

Alex smiled “You know. I’d like that, but right now I have to be somewhere. So I’ll possibly talk later but uh” He took out his phone handing it to Lafayette “I’ll text you when I’m free” he smiled

“Sounds good.” Lafayette winked, putting in his phone number, handing it back to Alex. Perfect guy for John.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Deep breathes- Deep breathes- It’s not working!” John yelled at himself from the bottom bunk. He was heavy breathing and clutching his hair in his hands trying to calm down. Pulling hair to him had a sense of justice, Something to calm him down when he was alone. He took another deep breathe to try and calm down more, and granted, it worked. Not the best, but it was getting him relaxed. He eventually melted into the breathing techniques and his bed all the same. He didn’t bother to take his hoodie or shoes off as he lay there. He slowly drifted off, So close to falling asleep. He was always tired after panic attacks and needed naps.

The door slowly opened, the small click of the door making John’s eyes open a little as he stared at his roommate. He didn’t say anything at first until Lafayette was bluntly staring at him at this point before stiffing a laugh as they made eye contact. John starting to smile as Lafayette did the same, patting John’s forehead. John smiled and closed his eyes again to get more sleep. For six in the afternoon he was tired, Especially from seeing the fight. Just the thought of it made him chest rise a little higher.

“Jackie?” Lafayette whispered from the desk

John didn’t open his eyes, replying with a “Mh?” sound

“You know how you’re always trying to make friends?”

John’s heart skipped a beat, setting him a little off guard “You mean, ‘You know how I try to get you friends even though you don’t want them or talk to any stranger I still try’ Why yes, I do know Lafayette” John rolled his now open eyes and yawned as he curled into the pillow more

“Seems accurate, Well anyways. That stranger who you were staring at,” John’s heart skipped another beat, his stomach filling with dread as he curled in more “I talked him a bit and,” He wouldn’t “I asked if he wanted to meet you” No “And he does!” He did… “Isn’t that fun? You’re goanna have a new friend, He even gave me his phone number and everything”

“Laf..”

“I mean, Yeah he’s a stranger but he works well with Anxiety. He told me so and I think it could do you some good to meet him” Lafayette smiled widely at John, still lying in bed on his own free will. He didn’t want to meet some stranger because he was good with anxiety. He didn’t want to meet any stranger.

“I don’t know” John mumbled, staring away from his smile and at the carpet. The coffee stain that he spilled on the very first day that never came out. The posters on the wall and back to Lafayette’s unexpected sad smile. It made him wince, with the guilty fact he made him frown.

“Well he said he’d text me when he’s not busy. How about I get to know him first so I make sure he’s okay to talk to you first? Will it make it easier if I’m his friend first?” Lafayette suggested, trying to hide the hope in his voice. It didn’t work, he loved the idea so much and didn’t want to give it up. And John knew that, he knew Lafayette was excited for him and hoping he’d make a new friend. He was always trying to set John up with people to be friends, not even romance interests, just plain friends and John was thankful, He was. It was just annoying to find out your life long best friend wanted you to make other friends. It meant Lafayette was getting tired of him and wanted to push someone else on John. He felt his heart ache as he buried his face in the pillow.

“..It would” John replied almost ten minutes after thinking about it. Out of anything it would give him time to stop this plan Lafayette had. How long did it take to be friends? A month, Maybe two. It should be enough time. Enough time for John to chicken out of it and have a melt down at the very last second or every time they tried to meet. John did want more friends, Lafayette knew that but he also didn’t want to go with them or talk to them as strangers. He wished there was a way to instantly become friends and not talk at all. Just be best friends and know everything about each other without trying.

“It would?!” Lafayette’s face had hope. He was very excited for John now. Not only was he proud of his plan but John agreed with it. The hope was written clear in his eyes and his smile. John couldn’t help but sit up to smile back at him. Truthfully he didn’t want to go through with Laf’s ‘amazing’ plan, but his friend was so happy he couldn’t say no to him. His face was warm and practically radiating positive vibes onto John.

He nodded and laid back down “I think it would” he mumbled, closing his eyes. He didn’t think it would. He knew it wouldn’t help, He just couldn’t do anything about the situation because Lafayette puts his mind to things. And when he does, he doesn’t stop until he succeeds because he knows John gives in easily. He cares to much sometimes.

“That’s great!” Lafayette laughed, hugged him even though he was laying down, shaking him before standing up. “You’re making a new friend- You practically already have a new friend already!” Lafayette laughed

John groaned before relaxing back into the bed “I wouldn’t go that far, I’m just putting in the effort to make one” He smiled, thinking about it. Maybe it could work. 

“Which is why I’m so proud of you!”

John’s ear perked when he heard the sound of a text being received. He stared up at Lafayette, supposedly texting someone “Who’re you texting?” John mumbled, looking up at him curiously

He stared down at John, smirking a little as he lowered his phone “Your new friend.”

“He gave you his number?”

“I gave him my number” Lafayette corrected

“I was gonna say he’s flirting with you, which he did ask for your number then so I’m guessing he was.. Nice” John winked a little “but don’t forget you’re not single”

“Obviously” He laughed, texting back something “You know he wants to meet you right?”

John blanked out for a second, thinking about it. Then he felt a pain in his heart, something burning him up. His face turning red and going pale all at the same time as he started breathing heavy. His hand were a little sweaty once he sat up. He swallowed hard and thought about it. A stranger wanted to meet him. Why? Did he want to laugh at him and use him or was it actually genuine. He’d never met a genuine stranger, let alone any stranger to remember.

“Uh-huh..” John mumbled into the pillow he was hugging tightly “And why’s that?” His voice muffled from the pillow

“I don’t know, maybe he wants to meet someone who’s cute and get a date out of it? Or maybe he just wants a friend. Maybe he’s like you and tired or being alone..” Lafayette suggested, shrugging as he leaned back into the computer chair “Either way you’re meeting him sometime over the summer or in the fall. I’m making sure of it”

John had to think about it. About how some complete stranger wants to meet him.. Just to meet him. To be friends. “It doesn’t seem right”

“What?”

“Him wanting to meet me just to meet me and, be friends.. It feels like he wants something, and only one thing. As in to use me” John sighed “I don’t think I want to meet him” Finally, an excuse not to talk to strangers. They only want something from you and then they leave you.

“Why don’t you just give it a chance? Don’t you think it’ll be fun to make a new friend..”

“Lafayette you’ve been trying to make me agree for the past twenty minutes, I’m not changing my mind”

“So since you already agreed to meeting him you’re not changing your mind?” Lafayette smirked and John dropped his smile

“No-“

“Yes, It means you’re going to meet him and be friends-“

“Lafayette-“

“I’ll start planning for the wedding!”

“No!” John blushed and threw the pillow at him, laughing “There’s no way I’m dating a stranger! Let alone marry him!”

Lafayette easily blocked the pillow, gently tossing it back to John “Oh come on, He won’t be a stranger by then! And… you did date Martha.. And I mean, yeah it didn’t work out so well but at least you tried” Lafayette gave him a sympathetic smile “But that was two years ago. Please try again?”

“Are you seriously trying to hook me up with a stranger?”

“First off, His name is Alex and second off, Very much”

“Alex..” John thought about it. He did look like an Alex, a kind of cute Alex if he was honest. He’d never admit it though. Even if he fell in love with Alex he’d never say it out loud let alone in his own head. “Alex…” He leaned over the pillow to smile, holding his cheeks a little with a love-struck sigh “Can’t wait to meet him” He smiled before breaking into snorting

“I thought you were being serious for a second!” Lafayette laughed, hitting John’s arm “Don’t joke around when your love life is on the stake!”

“Excuse me!?” John gaped “It’s my love life, and I can make all the jokes about it I want. Besides, I’m only nineteen Laf, I’ve still got at least ten more years, and more” He smiled, watching his friend sigh

“I’m just worried you’ll live all your college life single. You waited until you were seventeen to date a girl and neither of you asked each other out or did anything, it didn’t count. I just... want you to find love” Lafayette smiled

“I’ll find love, In the fridge” John sighed before standing up, walk into the kitchen and rummage in the fridge while he thought. What did Alex want? And why did Lafayette care so much to hook him up with him. He was always doing it, but this time it seemed weird. He didn’t just suggest it, He got the guy’s number and won’t drop it. He joked about a wedding and wants to introduce them, that’s not the average ‘Show’s John a guy in public and drops it after he says no’. Lafayette really wanted him to be with Alex. But why? Why did he care and why did Alex want to meet him? Why is Lafayette being so stubborn about Alex? Why is his life getting so complicated right now? And was his pizza from a few days ago gone bad yet?

It has. That’s sad.


	2. Midnight Library reading

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John comes home from a family vacation and Alex is there. He reveals things and books it out to.. Well, the library. Then falls asleep leaving Alex to bring him home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 11:40 pm and i need to be up by like 7 tomorrow so i wrote this instead of sleeping um  
> Also i really liked Alex's hoodie so,,,, deal with it

John didn’t see Alex at all in the next three months. Through June he didn’t even stay on campus, he was always away and for the last two weeks of June he went to his family’s estate in Puerto Rico until July was over. He just got back July twenty-eighth. Leaving him alone for the flight there and back, but Lafayette driving him to say his good-byes. He was actually rather thankful for the long trip, It meant he could skip out on all the drama in school and parties that were sticky and too loud for his tastes.

He left the airport around eleven PM. Meaning his friends should be asleep by this time, but it was summer so it could mean they were either up or knocked out from staying up all night from the night before. He hoped they were knocked out and sleeping heavily while he walked out of the gates. He looked around and saw the tired people trying to stay awake as they entered the airport and a father carrying his sleeping child as he made it to their car. He smiled. He liked small children, they were adorable in a sense when they weren’t screaming or kicking his seat like on the plane.

He rubbed his eyes, a little tired himself for the one hour difference. Back in New York he breathed in the oxygen that was probably not healthy and mixed with many gases. It made him feel at home in a sense though. He yawned and quickly shook his head, walking down the street with his bag and jacket even though it wasn’t that cold, He got cold easy, and it was worse at night. He made his way down the sidewalk and looked around at the less busy streets. New York was extremely busy in the day, but he liked the quiet of the night.

He was counting buildings and roads trying to find his street until he finally came upon it, smiling to himself “Finally” he yawned and looked at his watch on his wrist. He always faced it inwards because it was easier that way, Lafayette called him weird for it. But he smiled as the time showed twelve fourteen. Still going off Puerto Rican time, It was one AM. He was ready to fall into bed and never get up.

He opened the door to the dorms and picked his bag up, throwing it on his shoulders as he quietly made his way down to hall, not to disturb the other boys on campus. He made his way to the end of the hall where the stairs up go, but stopped at the door next to the stairs. He insisted to Lafayette they get a room closer to ground level but Lafayette was persistent in getting one higher up with a balcony. So John made his way up the stairs, tip toeing and avoiding any sounds he could make at all cost.

Finally he got to the second to top floor, walking down the hall to their door. Dorm 144 since it was easy to remember for John. He unzipped his bag, panicking for a second when he didn’t find his keys until he smiled, pulling them out with a sigh of relief. He slowly put the key in and lightly turned it, hoping it wouldn’t make that much sound as the small click indicated the door was unlocked. He slowly turned the door knob, pushing the door open a little not to make it squeak as he pushed it all the way open, taking his keys back.

He was relaxed and mellow as he got his keys out of the door.

“Welcome back!” A few voices called as the lights turned on, scaring John surprising well as he threw the keys half way across the room, clutching his chest. Accidentally slamming the door behind him, looking up at Lafayette, Hercules, Aaron and.. Alex. He took another deep breathe before sliding against the door to crouch on the floor.

“..John?” Lafayette smiled, looking down at him “You okay? Didn’t mean to scare you that much..” He mumbled

John looked up at him, still holding his chest, his eyes lightly watering. “I think I’m gonna cry” he sighed, slowly standing up as he slipped his shoes off, setting his bag down, then took his jacket off, laying it on the stand. He smiled and walked to Lafayette, standing all the way on his toes to hug him around the neck to where Lafayette hugged John right back “Why are you even up this late?”

Lafayette smirked and picked him up, spinning him only a little before setting him down “Well we knew you were coming home today and wanted to surprise you. You have been gone for over a month now” he laughed, messing up John’s ponytail more than it already was

“You knew I’d be here at..” John checked his inner wrist again, the time showing twelve twenty four “At twelve twenty four in the morning?” John raised an eye brow and heaved a little, still shaky from the scare. He couldn’t help but a small glance at Alex, and his face was complete worry and almost scared. He had to chance another glance but not too soon or he might try to talk to him.

Lafayette let out a persistent sigh at the way John wore his watch and put an arm around him, Lafayette’s arm shaking before John realized he was the one shaking. He looked down and ignored the small rant he usually got about the watch and looked up at him before rolling his eyes.

“We just knew you were coming home sometime soon” Lafayette suggested, almost as a question if John heard his tone correctly.

“Well.. I’m tired” John mumbled, moving from Lafayette’s arm to pick up his back, casually tip toeing around Alex to the kitchen and into his bedroom, setting his bag down. He yawned and stretched a little before sitting down on his bed. He wasn’t really all that tired, but he was kind of. He just wanted an excuse to get out of the situation, It was weird and embarrassing if he thought too hard about it. He stared at his bag, watching as the zipper jingled slightly from when he put it down. He shrugged it off and looked next to him, nearly falling off the bed when he realized Alex was sitting next to him.

“Whoa- Hey, Calm down” He whispered. His voice was.. calm, and light. Gentle and somehow relaxing. John’s never heard his voice before but if he was honest it defiantly was relaxing to him. His shoulders lowered, relaxing. He did as Alex said and relaxed before glancing around the room, eyeing Alex a little from time to time, curious as to why Alex hasn’t looked away. Or if he did he did it when John looked away.

“Um.. So- Uh, W-Why are you.. i-in here um, again..?” He barely was able to whisper. It was a lot of mumbling and pauses. He cringed at himself for stuttering in front of the, ‘Not so stranger’ he didn’t even meet personally yet.

“Oh- My apologizes” Alex smiled. John relaxed more, feeling his teeth let go of his tongue from biting it. He always did that to not say something stupid. He didn’t want to mess up anything with a new potential friend “I just saw you were.. Really shaky. Are you sure you’re okay? We did scare you, and I’m sorry we did.” Alex smiled at John. A little sad but all forgiving

“Oh” John smiled. He looked at Alex and smiled. “I’m fine, I promise, It’s just a.. uh- An.. Another,,, Uh, problem” he coughed, lightly and barely audible as he was about to say Anxiety, thankful the opportunity to switch the problem. He smiled again, trying to stay on the bright side before looking at Alex. And Alex looked.. Nothing. His expression was unreadable, and it scared John. Thinking he did something wrong or Alex was judging him. It made him shiver

“..Well. I know you don’t know me very well, but I’m Alex”

“Lafayette told me-“ John interrupted before visible biting the tip of his tongue before swallowing “Sorry, Continue” he mumbled, fiddling with his fingers.

Alex laughed a little, his laugh bright and light as to calm the tension “All he told me about you was your name was Jackie, or John or.. Something. I’m sorry I don’t know, but he told me that much and that you’re shy” Alex paused as if he were thinking about anything else Lafayette had told him. It took a long moment before Alex looked back up into John’s bright green eyes “And I’m guessing you get scared easily” he smiled “Judging by the.. ‘Welcome home’ thing we pulled. Speaking of, back on track. I don’t know you but I can tell you’re not okay” John felt his chest grow tight “And I’m always willing to listen, just call or text and I’ll be there” Alex smiled

Now John was nervous, This stranger with a name knew nothing about him but was willing to listen and be there for support.. Well, At least it was a conversation starter “What to start with” John mumbled out loud by accident. Alex didn’t stop him though, he was listening but didn’t stop John. “Let’s name the problems, I don’t know you and am scared of you, A near complete stranger who wants me to open up to him- Not scary at all” Johns sighed “I have ADHD, and Anxiety, I don’t stay on track because of it and get distracted” Alex was staring at him now. Not the weird way, but in a listening way “The only reason you’re here is because Lafayette saw me staring at you two months ago while you were fighting with someone and once you came down toward I ran away scared out of my life you were coming to yell at me or for god’s sake- Beat the shit out of me for watching” He sighed and looked at Alex, Alex’s expression soft and smiling “I don’t know where to start” he mumbled “Theres a lot to tell you but.. I can’t” he shrugged, looking at Alex

“There’s more?” Alex tilted his head, his loose hairs falling down at the same time “That was.. quite a lot” Alex frowned

John stared in confusion before his eyes widened in the realization he just said everything he was thinking “Uh.. Shit- I uh” John’s eyes were watering at this point as he stood up “I forgot I left something at the airport” he whispered out, pulling his short bangs out of his face as he walked off

“John- Hey it’s okay-“

“Please, I-I just need to go” John tried to pry himself from the situation, going to the door to slip his small boots on, opening the door

Alex already had his shoes on, not to mention his hoodie he never took off. Even when he was fighting with Thomas, he was wearing it. He followed John, high on his heels as he kept up easily due to be taller “Hey, It’s okay to open up sometimes- And if you need I won’t remember it. I promise I’ll forget about it and you can tell me when you’re ready-“

“Or not tell you at all” John suggested, walking down the stairs quickly. He wanted to get away but Alex just wouldn’t give up for some reason.

“Or not at all, Please just. Tell me whats wrong if its bothering you or don’t. Do whatever you want but you have to stop crying, Please. I’m worried about you” Alex tried to calm John’s nerves. It wasn’t working all that well now that John was panicking at this point, trying to get away.

He was confused, Confused as to why Alex even cared. He didn’t want to talk but.. He kind of did. No, he pushed that thought away as he got to the bottom of the stairs. He wished he had kept his mouth shut. Kept his tongue bitten and never have let this stranger know what his life was like. He hated knowing he couldn’t take it back, He hated it all. He didn’t hate Alex, but he hated Alex knowing. He sighed a little loudly as he walked down the hall on his toes not making a single sound as Alex followed making light foot noises as he stepped. John knew what he was doing, As long as he didn’t say anything he could hear if Alex was still behind him or not. Maybe once he got outside he could run for it, sprint as far away as possible. But where was he going? He couldn’t just.. Run away and come back at four AM completely exhausted and sleep deprived. Well he could, but it would have no morals.

Once he made it to the doors to the outside he immediately regret not grabbing his jacket. He felt the goosebumps shoot up his arms and spine, making him shivering lightly. He still walked on his toes, still hearing Alex behind him. Honestly.. He was tired of hiding in fear and confusion of what Alex wanted. If he just questioned him, He’d either end up with a now closer Alex, or Alex would be so disgusted he’d never want to talk to John again. For some reason, he was okay with both.

So he slowed down. Holding his arms as he walked down the sidewalk, Alex coming up to his side. He glanced at Alex with slightly puffy eyes before looking back in front of him. He rubbed his eyes free of any trace of crying and jumped at a familiar sound, coming from Alex. He looked at Alex and saw his phone light up in his hoodie pocket, but he ignored it. Instead he was smiling down at John, a reassuring way. Something that made John somehow feel like smiling. He smiled and realized how cold his face was, his nose already pink and cheeks getting there. His hands already pale and pink knuckled. He sighed, rubbing his arms, looking around. He didn’t know where he was going, He just knew he was going somewhere.

“Are you okay?” Alex’s voice scared him a little, jolting his head to look at Alex. He hadn’t realized how much taller he was until now, Maybe six inches from here. It made John cringe and smile

“Yeah”

“You sure..?” He was testing the waters. Seeing how far he could go until his head would be under and John would get mad. John knew that, but John doesn’t get mad, or annoyed..Unless its with himself

“Yeah”

“Do you say other things than ‘yeah’?” Alex chuckled

“Yeah” John mumbled, not a hundred percent sure what Alex was actually talking about, He was too busy thinking about what he was going to do at twelve thirty in the morning, walking around a college park

“Did you hear what I just said?”

“Yeah”

“What did I say?”

“Yeah” John mumbled again and Alex’s laugh snapped him out of his thoughts “Huh? Why are you laughing?” He blinked, tilting his head slightly

“Nothing John.. You’re just cute” Alex smiled with no trace of blush as John blushed furiously. Which was bad, It meant all his body heat was going to his face, leaving his body a shaky mess before Alex nudged him, making him jump a little. He was point to his red sweatshirt, the one John had only ever seen him in. He was confused before looking up at Alex “You wanna wear it? I know you’re cold”

Alex’s throat hitched as he shook his head “I-I’m fine” he held his chin up trying not to be obvious about it. He put his arms down before his teeth were chattering, Not making a sound, but lightly vibrating. Alex knew and sighed at him.

“John. You’re gonna get a cold and get sick” he mumbled and John shrugged, holding his hands back up to his forearms, trying to make some kind of heat. Anything would do at this point. Alex shook his head at the stubborn boy and took his phone, putting it in his pocket and took off his hoodie, holding it out to John. 

John stared at it for a long second before giving in to slowly taking it. He hated taking it from Alex, but once he pulled it over his head he felt so much better. He sighed in relief, hugging the hoodie against his chest. It was way too big for him, going to his lower thigh, the sleeves covering his hands completely as his finger tips barely poked out. It felt nice. He hated taking it from Alex but once he saw Alex was okay with the cold he didn’t feel as bad.

“You’re not cold?” John mumbled, still crossing his arms even though he was a lot warmer

“Nope. I don’t get cold easily, Never have” Alex smiled, which was true. John reached out to touch Alex’s arm and he was still warm. It surprised him and made him smile “So you get cold easily?”

John nodded “Sadly, I do” he laughed “Lafayette even makes fun of me for wearing long sleeves and pajama pants to bed in summer! Not to mention stealing all the blankets in winter” John laughed and Alex laughed along with him. It was cute to imagine John all bundled up in blankets and folded nicely into the pillow layout.

“Okay.. Well” Alex thought about something. It made John nervous but all Alex could really focus on was the ‘Property of Hamilton’ on the back of his hoodie John was wearing. “What’s your favorite color?” Alex nudged John in the arm and he didn’t jump. Progress.

“..I like blue and green. And I’m guessing you want me to ask what your favorite is?”

“You bet it. Anyways, red. But see, We’re bonding! We’re getting to know each other and soon we’ll be friends” Alex looked down at John as he looked back up at Alex

“Alright potential friend” John smirked “Why do you care so much about me? Like when I was freaking out and crying and blabbed, Why do you care so much when you don’t even know who I am?”

It took a minute for Alex to respond. John thought it might’ve been a mean question in the tone he said it, but Alex smiled and sighed “Well” He started “I know a lot of people. And you’re.. Not like other people. I’ve met.. thousands of people, believe me- You wouldn’t believe me.” He laughed as John got a little confused “And when I saw you scared and freaking out I.. felt bad, It was my fault, that you were crying and being panicked. I’m sorry about that again. But ah- Why do I care so much um.. I don’t know, I just.. I feel like you’re special. You’re something to take care of, Someone who deserves better than the world. Like how people say their lover deserves the world but I could tell just by seeing you, You were.. Scared. And hurt, You were negative when you opened that door, I could almost.. Feel it- Yeah uh, This is getting weird and creepy but. Two months ago, when you ran I wanted to meet you and apologize but Lafayette said you left for another country so I never got the chance but. I’m here now?” Alex smiled crookedly at John from above.

And John smiled too. He felt special and needed, By a complete stranger. “You sound like a murderer who wants to rape me” John mumbled out. He didn’t mean to but it sort of was what his mind was thinking. To his amazement Alex laughed.

He smiled and patted John’s head, not messed up his hair like Lafayette, but patted it not to mess up his hair. John smiled, relieved Alex wasn’t too mad. He felt nice. Alex did, and bright and nice. But at the same time, John figured he was hiding something. Something big, and Something horrible.

At the time, he didn’t even want to know right now.

“I could be” Alex smiled, not protesting it “But you trust me enough to go outside in the middle of the night” Alex pointed out, John suddenly feeling stupid

“Alright, Kill me and get it over with” John sighed, opening his arms

Alex smiled and took the advantage to pick John up, throwing him over his shoulder. John held on tight, completely confused and scared by his last statement “Wait- No, I didn’t mean it- I was just kidding-“

“John relax” Alex laughed, setting him back down “I was just messing with you” He patted John’s head and cupped his cheek

“..Could you um, Do me a favor” John pushed his hands away, taking a small step back before walking again. He found himself making his way to the college chill center. It was basically a building for students to have fun and play video games. There was a TV and game consoles, countless games and a pool table, couches, flat screens for shows. Everything. John never went there normally, He went to the library and avoiding the party building completely. It was a whole building to partying and drinking, drugs and all sorts of gross and sticky shit John didn’t wan to imagine

“Possibly if you do me one” Alex smiled “A favor for a favor”

“Hm.. Alright” John agreed “You or me go first?”

“Me” Alex smirked “You have to call me a friend from now. Because thats what we are.” Alex looked at John’s expression as it changed a little

John didn’t want to but he didn’t see the harm “Alright. Deal friend” he smiled “But as for my favor. Could try not to be so.. affectionate?” John tried to find the right words hoping he didn’t offend Alex by this statement.

Alex was smiling and nodded “Yeah, Totally- I didn’t even realize but I see when you’re coming from now. I’m sorry, won’t happen again.. A lot” Alex smirked

“Thats wasn’t the deal!” John squealed, hitting Alex’s side lightly

“Come one! Picking you up is so easy though!” Alex laughed, putting his hands on John’s shoulders before he ran down the sidewalk a few feet “Unfair!” Alex laughed, running up to scoop John up off his feet

And John snorted- Actually snorted in front of Alex. He never did that, Not even in front of Lafayette 

“Whoa-“ Alex started before putting the laughing Laurens down “You snort?”

“Sadly” John calmed down, laughing lightly now

“What? No- I want to hear it more often”

“Alex.. Affectionate deal” He glared at Alex and frowned “Please”

“Right, Right.. But it is cute to hear-“

“Alex” John didn’t snap, but his voice was a little warning

“John.” Alex said in the same tone right back

“..Please”

“Okay”

John smiled and found himself in front of the library. He didn’t even know where he was going until he got there. He shrugged and opened the door, Alex following close behind. A few people were there studying and a girl with her head against the table. John slowly walked over and pulled the hood on her hoodie up before walking back to the book shelves on his toes. Alex waited a few minutes before talking

“Why’d you raise her hood up?” Alex whispered

“The lights will wake you up in the middle of the night so it helps to cover your eyes to get sleep” John explained, not whispering as much

“You’ve learned this from experience?” Alex suggested 

“Mhm” John humored him and looked up at the books. He wasn’t looking for anything particular but there were a few things that interested him. Nothing too important but he loved books, Loved reading, Loved getting devoted in the story just to have it ripped out of his heart and stopped on by a tragic ending. He was looking up rather high, Top shelf at least before looking back at ground level. He remembers a book he wants now, He’s wanted it for a while. He started walking again to look for the title, instead of author organized the books were by alphabet, Which helped John a lot more than anything. He went straight to F and looked around before looking up

Alex following behind him with a light smile “What are you looking for?” Alex smiled, looking in the direction John was.

“It’s up here, but it’ll be fine” He smiled, reaching up a little before sighing, far too short. He took his foot up, climbing the shelf to reach up, still too short, suddenly being pulled down by the waist and put back down. Alex let go of John and reached up, without even standing on his toes, able to reach the book, looking at it 

“Flowers in the attic?” He questioned, looking at John “That’s.. a book I’ll tell you” He mumbled and laughed a little, handing him the book.

“I think it teaches children a valuable lesson” John smiled “To appreciate your mother and parents while they’re still around”

“Ah.. Well you see, I’m an orphan”

“Shit-“ John muttered, staring up at Alex as he hunched his shoulders. The hoodie came up over his mouth, below his nose. It smelled like Alex, He liked it, but he felt horrible right now. “Sorry I.. didn’t know”

“It’s not your fault” Alex shrugs, seemed as if he weren’t fazed. 

John looks back up and swallows “Uh.. What do you um- Want to do now?” he mumbled

Alex smiled and pat John’s head real quick. just once and sweet. Gentle to John. “Anything you want to do” Alex smiled. John felt a little worried. He didn’t get it, Was he being nice or teasing John in a way. He never understood friends, let alone humans in general. He’s never had a friend beside Lafayette.

“Well..” John smiled “Can we sit and talk, or read?” He pleaded, holding the book up to his nose so his huge eyes shown to Alex. And he saw what looked like Alex blushing a bit. It made him happy a book was covering his face.

“Whatever you want” Alex smiled, walking to take a seat at one of the chairs where John eagerly sat next to him, opening the book immediately. John didn’t say anything after that. He just read and lightly kicked his legs. Alex found himself staring, John’s excited eyes as he read, How they were bright and wide, staring at the page before flipping it with a big smile. He did that a lot for the next few minutes, smiling and flipping, lightly kicking, smiling and more flipping, kicking more. It was cute. Alex watched his freckles move with his smile. Up, down, Up, down, Up, down. He focused on the small heart one near his nose, almost right on it under his eye. He was lucky John didn’t wear glasses or else he wouldn’t see it. He thought John was cute, that was fair. He was bisexual after all, even if he did come back to the college to win Eliza back, she was happy wth her girlfriend Maria. So maybe Alex could be committed this time. Stay committed and actually.. Fall in love this time. Not just use.

John was happy. He shouldn’t force his life onto John because he wanted a good life. He couldn’t deal with John getting hurt. Years of knowing friends and people, he couldn’t do it this time with John. He couldn’t get too close as much as he wanted. Even if John wanted to be friends either, he wasn’t allowed to hurt John. Or Lafayette or Eliza again or anyone. He was jerked out of his thoughts as something pressed against him. John. He looked down at John who was lightly breathing with his book still open. He looked John’s wrist, the time reading three AM. He sighed and took the book, folding the page over and putting it in the hoodie pocket oh his hoodie, John was wearing. He then attempted to pick John up on his back, surprisingly John’s sleepy self hugged Alex’s neck making it easier on his part. He smiled at that, walking to the door, pushing it open with his foot as he walked outside. It wasn’t that cold as he breathed in.

He did pause to lean over a little, making sure John stayed on his back as he reached back to pull the hood on John’s hoodie up over his curly locks. For a brief second he could feel John’s light breathe on his hand before he pulled his hand away to grip back onto John’s thigh. He smiled as he walked through the park. How did he get into this situation? Carrying a boy who he first ran after, stole his hoodie, and now falls asleep and expects Alex to carry him. Alex had to admit, it was a cute and domestic scene. He couldn’t help but smile at it. 

He finally made his way back to the dorms, opening the door with a light push and walking down the halls hoping he wasn’t too loud with a ninety pound baby on his back. He felt ninety anyways, maybe a hundred but no more. He was lighter than Eliza which was saying something. He chuckled at the thought and made his way up the stairs. It was highly dangerous. he imagined if John was awake right now he’d be screaming and crying as he clung to Alex. But lucky for him Alex was able to run off of three hours of sleep on a normal basis, as unhealthy as it was. It was still a skill.

Once at the dorm door 144 he remembered the keys before someone rushed to open the door. Lafayette about to yell before looking at them and smiled. He covered his mouth to keep from saying anything as he closed the door after they came inside. Alex walked to John’s bed, sitting down before untangling his arms to lat him lay down. He took the book out of his pocket to lay it on the desk then took off John’s shoes, making deadly eye contact with Lafayette before realizing John wore some pretty fashionable feminine boots. He blamed Lafayette for the influence. he laid his shoes down by the closet before pulling the blanket up to John’s chin, slowly backing away before following Lafayette into the living room to sit down

“Where the fuck were you?” He whispered, glaring at Alex

“I was calming him down, Relax” Alex explained “He was walking around and.. I don’t know, ended up at the library and he wanted to read so.. I let him read for maybe two hours before he finally collapsed and fell asleep on my shoulder so i carried him home- I swear i didn’t mean to keep him out late.. I’m sorry” Alex frowned. He was even disappointed in himself

“Im just glad he’s okay. Just.. be careful with him, We’ve been over this” He smiled “Now.. About his hoodie-“

“I swear he just got cold-“

“You knew didn’t you?” Lafayette smirked

“…Okay maybe i knew”


	3. ( idk what to call this one i'll think of somethin)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talks about crushes, John shouldnt have coffee, Sleepy john who then is thrown into the pool,,, I blame lafayette

John woke up to sun shining on his face, his eyes burning from the irritation. He yawned and pulled the blanket over his head to sleep. He tried anyways, but he was awake and could hear people mumbling. So he sat up and rubbed his face. He was confused at first, looking down at the red hoodie before remembering what happened last night. This his stomach ached. The thought of it was so kind/, Alex was so kind. He didn’t judge him and even comforted him after he cried. And above that gave him his sweatshirt after he insisted he didn’t need it, then helped him get his book. He stayed with him when he left. The sickening cuteness of it all made him shiver, showing a light trace of grimace on his face.

He looked down and smiled at his shoes and book, climbing out of bed. He realized how cold he was, shivering a little before adjusting. He sighed, rubbing his arms a little trying to remember what happened last night. He left the dorms, then went to the library and read. But he didn’t remember anything else after that, doesn’t even remember where he stopped reading at. He scratched his head before looking at his socks, his face heating up a little at the pink and orange striped on his left and a pink and blue polka-dot one on the right. He covered his face before sighing heavily, walking out of his room. He didn’t have time to be embarrassed.

He checked the time, blinking noticeably at the time. It was eleven in the morning and he hated getting up late. He frowned and ignored it, shuffling to the kitchen to snoop around before looking at the table with his computer. It’d been laying there for over a month and no one moved it? Strange. He sighed and sat down in front of it, slowly opening it to pull away from it’s icy touch. He breathed out a huff and opened it this time, typing in his password before blinking at the background. It was of Lafayette, Hercules and Alex. Alex was winking, giving the camera finger guns while Hercules was sticking his tongue out, Lafayette taking the picture. He blushed a bit, hoping no one knew his password but someone must’ve to change his background. Last time he knew, it was a small turtle.

He sighed and took the computer to sit on the floor under the island, his usual spot if you couldn’t find him, putting his ear buds in to listen to music. He didn’t really use it for anything but time wasting. Sometime’s he’d use it to email his dad back in South Carolina and his mom in Puerto Rico. So he opened his email, nothing new. He expected that, so he went to Facebook, twitter, tumblr. Anything to kill time as he had nothing to do. It was nearing the end of the summer which meant he’d have to go back to school and his computer would go back to the use of homework and googling facts he’d never remember. 

He froze when he heard whispers. He heard people talking before but now he was hearing whispering. He paused his music, keeping his ear buds in though. Extremely light as if his room mates or someone was gossiping. He thought it was Lafayette and Hercules but Herc’s voice was a lot lower than who was talking. Next guess was Alex and Lafayette. He could barely hear them, stopping his typing to hear better. He couldn’t catch much but leaned a little to the right to see their legs and sure enough was Lafayette’s jeans and Alex’s soft voice.

“Absolutely not” he could hear Lafayette whisper. He hadn’t be able to hear the start of their conversation but he knew they were arguing by Lafayette’s stubborn tone.

“But why not..?” Alex whispered. His voice was pleading and his hands moving as if he were frustrated. He could only imagine his face.

“Because he’s fragile. You don’t know him well enough and you’ve only been around for.. One day in his life, He’s completely scared of you” Lafayette’s whisper was raised a bit into a stern tone. He sounded angry and it sent a tingle through John’s body, scared for Alex’s safety. He knew Lafayette would punch someone, he’d probably kill someone over John. It made him scared for anyone’s safety after knowing Lafayette threatened Aaron with a knife when they first met him. To which he only told John four months after it happened.

“But Lafayette i’ve never felt this way before-“

Lafayette stomped his food down which didn’t make much sound but did make John jump, covering his mouth quietly. He cut Alex off, stepping closer and probably leaning closer to him to whisper again “I don’t care. You learn to know him before you do anything!” his voice was loud enough to be heard from under the table but not from John’s bedroom. 

“Alright.” Alex stopped arguing and nodded his head even though John couldn’t see it. Then Alex sighed, his fist unclenching “I will. Because i-“ The rest was too soft for John to hear, making him pout to himself

“No. You don’t have a crush on him, I’m telling you that right now. You like him. You can’t date him. Don’t you ever say that again” Lafayette snapped, laughing a little. He didn’t mean to but it came out hurtful. Then John’s face turned red, his chest beating so fast he swore Alex and Lafayette could hear it from where they were. “I know you’re my friend. You’ve been my friend for two months now, and that’s not too long of a time but i promise you this. You befriend him for at least six months before evening thinking about asking John out, You hear me?” Lafayette was stern. His voice was louder now and John’s heart was swelling with fear and love. Thinking about being with Alex made him happy and scared all at the same time.

“I understand but what if i slip up? I really like him. Maybe not so much as love but.. I like him, Like, A lot. and.. What if i say something and his anxiety kicks in-“ John frowned and put his music back in after that. He sighed softly and stared at his screen. He thought Alex had promised to forget about everything he said last night. He knew Alex would slip up at some point and he could rat to Lafayette. But he kind of wanted it.. He wanted to be with Alex? Which was ridiculous. Because he’d only known the guy for a day, shorter than a day actually. Maybe twelve hours, Actually less? Who knows anymore.

He squeaked, the computer falling out of his lap when Alex sat in front of him, nearly falling off the stool before John caught it, locking a bit of awkward contact between them.

“Shit-“ They both muttered, John slowly letting go before Lafayette looked at him, muttering a quit ‘shit’ to himself

“How long have you been there?” Lafayette allowed, physically nervous

John watched as he fidgeted a bit before shrugging “Like.. ten minutes? I woke up and came in here to listen to music.. Why?” he glared at Lafayette as if he didn’t just hear the past ten minutes of their conversation

“Just wondering how long you’ve been awake” Alex smiled, John looking back up at him “Worried about you after last night, You seemed pretty tired, especially when we tried to get you up at seven” Alex changed the subject. John noticed but decided to let it go this time because he had to pretend to not just listen in on their conversation.

“Wait, what happened at seven?” John raised an eye brow, looking at Alex then at Lafayette as he tried to hold back a laugh

“Uh..” Alex started, smiling to himself “I think i told you something like “John, You need to get up” and you kind of just stared at me, and i shit you not- The most demanding and loudest tone i have veer heard, You told me “No.”” Alex raised his voice sternly making John flinch “Sorry” he put his foot on John’s knee, rubbing it “But it just scared me because then you laid back down and was instantly asleep again, Like- I didn’t know you’d be grumpy in the mornings!”

John blushed. A dark red. He slouched against the counter, hiding his face behind his computer screen. He was smiling, imagining the situation and the look on Alex’s face. He wasn’t like that in the mornings, he’s always quiet and obeying in the mornings

“Actually he’s not” Lafayette laughed, sending John into a sputter of giggles and snorts, trying to cover them up

“Wait what?” Alex muttered, his mouth falling open slightly “I just thought it was a morning thing-“

“No!” John squeaked, he wasn’t demanding when he yelled but was laughing “I’m not like that in the mornings at all!” John snorted, laying his head on his knees to pull at a string on Alex’s sock. Alex didn’t pull away or care to notice it

“He’s not, He’s actually super quiet and it’s hard to tell if he’s awake or not. He doesn’t snore, but he does talk or mumble in his sleep from time to time, and he doesn’t toss and turn.” Lafayette shrugged, John staring at him weirdly “He kind of just rolls back and forth, and stays asleep. Although he’s not really a light sleeper, he’s kind of in the middle” Lafayette smiled, this time getting strange looks from both of them “..What?”

“Do you watch me sleep?” John tilted his head, giving him a slightly disgusted look

“I had to when you had nightmares in your after noon naps. Remember you asking me to watch you so you don’t have panic attacks while waking up?” Lafayette turned away from them to open the cupboard, messing around

John blushed again, frowning. He remembered full well when he woke up screaming to Lafayette holding him closely one afternoon. It was strange and he was confused and scared. He hated asking for him to watch him from then on in his sleep but it worked well since then. The nightmares got better and he was gaining sleep again.

“Yeah..” he mumbled, looking up at Alex smiling at him. It made him smile. Alex stuck his tongue out and crossed his eyes to make John’s face crinkle. It was hard not to laugh but he didn’t. The Alex scrunched his nose up looking like a pig and John couldn’t help but snort a little

“What are you two doing?” Lafayette mumbled, putting two coffee cups on the table

“Nothing!” John blushed a little

“Nothing-“ Alex quickly said after, them both smiling at each before looking at Lafayette

“Liars” He muttered “Jackie can you get up off the floor and sit at the table please?” Lafayette learned to ask nicely when he wanted John to do something. He couldn’t demand too much or John would start getting quieter and Lafayette needed John’s giggles and smiles some days

“Yeah” John scooted out from under the table to stand up with his computer “After you explain to me who knows my password!” John glared at Lafayette, putting his computer in the seat next to Alex’s “Because someone changed my background”

“Oh- That was me” Alex smirked, taking a sip of coffee 

“Alex!” John sighed

“Lafayette wanted in it”

“Mom!” He shrieked, glaring back at Lafayette

“I was making sure you weren’t talking to anyone-“ Lafayette smirked at John’s blush

“What the fuck does that mean?!”

“Hey!” Lafayette snapped making John flinch “Watch your fucking profanity” Lafayette laughed a little, John giggling with him

“What the actual fuck? You never fucking told me to stop fucking swearing but you fucking call out goddamn John over fucking here. What the fuck you bitch” Alex glared at Lafayette, John breaking into hysterical laughter at this point

“Alex. You are setting a horrible example for my precious son” Lafayette whispered, hugging John

Alex smiled. Sipped his coffee, putting it back down. He watched them. It made him happy but scared too, John didn’t look like he was laughing. Alex knew he was but it looked as if he were crying into Lafayette’s shoulder 

“So.. Wait. So If you’re his mom then who’s his dad? Hercules?” Alex tilted his head

John pulled away, wiping his eyes from laughter. A part of Alex thought they were real. John smiled and closed his computer sitting down with the cup of coffee in his hands 

“I.. Never thought of that, But now that i am ‘Momcules’ has a better ring to it”

“Daddyfayette”

“Never mind” Lafayette sat down across from John and Alex, fixing his hair back into a pony tail. It reminded Alex of Thomas and it made him grimace to himself, shaking his head

“The new version of ‘Who’s your daddy’ with Mom and his friend” John mumbled into his already half drank coffee

“John slow down, Your stomach will hurt if you drink all of that”

John stared at Lafayette for a second before chugging the rest. John knew it would hurt, It was practically white with all the creamer and sugars Lafayette puts in it for him. He only allows him one doctored coffee a day

“Johnathan Laurens!” Lafayette gasped

“Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette!” John mocked in a childish tone

“How are you able to remember that? I can’t even remember his first name, Just last” Alex mumbled, putting his coffee down

“High school friends, Known it for years” John simply smiled

“Ah..” Alex smiled “Then what’s your full name?” Alex stared at John

John blinked, looking at the table before back at Alex “Um.. Johnathan Laurens. That’s it” John shrugged “Never had a middle name, but the nickname Jackie stuck” John smiled at himself. He felt a ting of pride. It was weird, but it was nice.. or that was the coffee kicking in

“Oh, More interesting facts about you i never knew” Alex smiled. It seemed like he was flirting but John couldn’t be sure “So you’re not grumpy in the mornings, Just when you get about four hours of sleep?”

John giggled “Yeah, I usually get eight to ten, Some say i sleep my life away with naps in-between meaning like.. twelve hours of sleep a day but I’ve learned to accept that sleep is literally the best thing to ever happen in my life” John snorted “But in other words yeah, Im usually not like that.. but i guess if I’m tired or sick i get grouchy but not too mean” John shrugged, laying his head on the table

“Noted” Alex smiled 

“Hey mom-“

“No.” Lafayette took a sip of his coffee

“But-“

“I said no John”

John huffed and looked at Alex, noticing his confused face “Oh, right” John laughed “Whenever i say Hey mom to Laf I’m usually asking for more coffee.. or something bad for me” John shrugged

“Which he’s already had one this morning, meaning no more until you take a nap or go to bed for the night”

“Actually… a nap feels really good” John smiled before standing up, walking the few feet into the living room

“..But he just woke up” Alex whispered

Lafayette just shrugged and continued drinking his coffee “Im not stopping him, He’d feel bad if i told him no to something as simple as a nap. Although there are times where i tell him no because he’s slept for nearly fourteen hours, but if he’s sick I know he needs it. Or anxious, which would probably be around now so i’ll let him sleep” Lafayette smiled

“Huh” Alex shrugged, looking down “..So.. He’s basically the most sensitive person you’ve ever met”

“Definitely”

“You know.. I think he is too” Alex smiled, looking at John on the couch. He was curled up tightly in a ball, already fast asleep

_____________________________________________________

Next thing John knew school was starting again, He had less time to sleep in and more nights staying up to study. It was already October twenty seventh, leading up to the weekend. Friday. But they give them the weekend and more off for halloween. Meaning John could sleep in and ignore all his essays that were due on Monday. He always did them, Just needed to rest between them.

He didn’t wake up to the alarm or usual sun in his face. He scrunched under the covers to hide his face extremely well from anything. It was one week away. John could feel it. As soon as he woke up to Lafayette shaking him he mumbled a small “no” before rolling over.

He fell back to sleep quickly only waking up to be carried. He didn’t care much, hugging whoever it was around the neck to lay his head down on their shoulder. He yawned, trying to stay awake for what seemed like a few minutes before he fell back asleep on the person’s shoulder.

“So this is what he’s like in the morning?” Alex whispered, not wanting to wake John

“Oh yeah, He’s like a tired baby. It’s always like this, every morning, every day” Lafayette held John close making sure not to drop him as he walked down the dorm halls. He was thankful John fell asleep in his jeans and hoodie last night. Or well.. Alex’s hoodie. It’s surprising neither of them have noticed. Alex hadn’t asked for it back and John didn’t offer it back, mostly because John probably forgot and Alex didn’t mind.

Speaking of. Alex and John had gotten a lot closer in the past three months. Movie nights, staying up late. Once, Alex had to comfort John when Lafayette wasn’t there and he found out the hard way John is good at hiding his feelings and lying. But he can read him a lot better, and John knew Alex was really amazing with history. They study together and if he has a question, he asks Alex. He doesn’t question why Alex knows all of it from the top of his head but he just does.

“He’s really clingy” Alex walked behind Lafayette, watching John sleep. It was cute, in a really cute domestic way that would say they were dating. He brought his hand up to brush the messy curls out of John’s face

“Believe me, He is” Lafayette whispered “He’ll jump at everything and cling to you if you’re scared, Just offer an arm to him and he’ll take it.. or if you offer to carry him he’ll always refuse, Don’t know why, Probably for the fear of being dropped” Lafayette shrugged

“What about hand holding?” Alex smiled, bringing his finger to John’s nose. It made him crinkle his nose in his sleep, making Alex’s heart beat loudly in his chest. It almost hurt if he wasn’t so distracted by John’s cute face.

“You’re pushing it a little” Lafayette smiled though. He genuinely smiled and it made Alex’s thoughts race with the thought of having just the possibility of dating John. He looked at John, taking out his phone to take a picture. It wasn’t perfect. His hair was a mess and his eyes were heavy. He was chewing on his finger and his nose was scrunched up on Lafayette’s shoulder but Alex loved the picture. He couldn’t but not like it.

“Well uh.. Is it normal for him to… chew on himself? Is it okay if he does that?” Alex mumbled, holding the phone close to his chest as he watched John. He was still chewing and biting starting to drool on Lafayette’s shoulder

“Oh yeah, He does it all the time” Lafayette looked back a little and smiled, Alex stepping in front of him to open the door to the outside “Thank you” He pulled John up a little to hold him better, walking down the sidewalk “But yeah, I still have no idea why, but if he falls asleep on you he’ll chew on your fingers too so.. he kind of is like a baby. Teething and sleepiness. It’s like being a permanent baby sitter reminding him to eat too” He smiled, patting John’s back

“..He sleeps adorably and forgets to eat. So if you’re ever away I have to remind him to eat?” Alex mumbled

“That’d be great if you could” Lafayette smiled

“Cool.. Uh, Where are we going exactly?” Alex whispered, looking around a little nervously

“Oh, We’re going to the pool” Lafayette smirked

“Wait- You’re going to throw him in the pool?” He whisper screamed, trying not to be too loud

“Relax Alex. We do it every year on his birthday” Lafayette winked back at Alex.

“His birthday is today?” Alex thought about it. His birthday perfectly on Friday. Alex thought it was nice until his bubble popped

“It’s tomorrow, but we figured his twentieth birthday we should let him sleep in and not pull pranks on him anymore” Lafayette smiled

“Huh” Alex smiled “He’s two years younger than me” Alex smiled at that. Taller and older, best relationship tropes. Not to mention he’s wearing Alex’s- Oh no he’s still wearing Alex’s hoodie “My hoodie’s going to smell like chlorine for the next month” Alex mumbled to himself

Lafayette chuckled, shaking his head “The small sacrifices, but anyways. We’ve been doing this tradition for nearly five teen years, Maybe about thirteen, but it’s not going to stop now” Lafayette snickered

“How does he usually react?” Alex frowned, thinking about how John would hate them both.

“He screams if he wakes up before being thrown, but he always comes up coughing. But I assure you, I’d never let him drown or get hurt. And he does worse on my birthday” Lafayette smirked “Usually wake up with some sort of pastry in my face covered in whipped cream… Which in term is worth it because John is amazing at baking” 

Alex took a step ahead to open the door to the pool, following Lafayette after “John bakes?” Alex smiled. Fuck that’s really cute “Oh that’s why you have cream all over your face in September-“ Alex laughed “Well, Who started it?”

“He did, on my sixth birthday, and so I threw him in the pool on his birthday” Lafayette grimaced “Yeah, I woke up with cupcake up my nose so John wakes up with water.. Maybe his is a little more dangerous” He mumbled “Oh well” He shrugged, walking to the side of the cold pool

“Oh jeez.. Are you seriously going to do this?” Alex whispered

“Of course” Lafayette smiled, pulling John up a little to readjust him on his side. “Take a step back” He mumbled, Alex taking a step back before Lafayette threw him into the water. It made Alex’s heart skip a beat before John came up, coughing and hacking up water “Happy Birthday John!”

John stared up at him, heavy breathing before splashing water up at him “Fuck you!” He laughed though. Swimming back to the side, climbing up to sit, still coughing

“Love you too buddy” Lafayette laughed

“It’s not even my birthday” John coughed again, holding his chest to calm down a little “What the fuck” he stood up, looking at Lafayette

“Twentieth birthday, We’re gonna let you relax on the real thing” Lafayette patted his wet hair and John glared at him

“You know.. I really appreciate that.. You should get a hug for it” John muttered, opening his arms

“No- John you don’t have to!” Lafayette shrieked before running out the doors to the yard

“I think I do!” John screamed before laughing, running after him.

And Alex stood there. Smiling and thinking. They were amazing together, Best friends for over five teen years. Alex couldn’t help but be a little jealous at that. All of his friends and lovers have long died or left him. It hurt, but for the first time Alex thought.. Maybe. Just maybe it could work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact; Every day on my birthday i get thrown into our pool at 6am shARP. Mind you. I am a winter baby :")

**Author's Note:**

> The guy with big hair alex was arguing with? Jefferson


End file.
